Abbott Invites Heat-Packing New Yorkers to Texas with Non-Satirical Web Ad


As the national debate over gun control rages, Texas’s leaders have identified that against which we must all be most vigilant:

An excess of… whimsy.

Yesterday, New York state passed the nation’s most stringent gun-control law. The next blessed day, Texas’s Attorney General, Greg Abbott, had an online ad appearing on New York websites telling law-abiding, gun-totin’ Yankees to come enjoy the “lower taxes and greater opportunity” enjoyed by the Lone Star State.

“We’ll fight like hell to protect your rights,” it actually says, not as a joke. “You’ll also get to keep more of what you earn and use some of that extra money to buy more ammo.”

Eric Bearse, a spokesperson for Abbott, told the Daily Beast that they placed the ad because in Texas, the Constitution is held “sacred” and protects Americans from “whimsical and knee-jerk reactions by political leaders.”

In related news, several writers for late-night talk shows simultaneously punched the air with gratitude. (Not really, but probably.)