With the elections over, Gov. Rick Perry is back out in public again. Perry is touting his new anti-Washington book, Fed Up!—and, along the way, touting himself to see if anybody besides Bob Perry and Grover Norquist wants him to run for president.
So there’s plenty of Perry in this week’s edition of the most unhinged, irrational things said on this unhinged, irrational election week. And God knows, in a week when right-wing Republicans led a charge toward a fourth straight sweep of statewide offices and a stunning 99-51 edge in the state House, a few people could use a chuckle. So here are this week’s Honorable Mention Stumpers:
…but will not be sworn in till January
“Fiscal discipline was certainly strongly elected yesterday.”
—Texas House Speaker Joe Straus, interpreting the results of Tuesday’s elections
A surprisingly astute analysis
“George W. Bush did a incredible job in the presidency, defending us from freedom.”
—Gov. Rick Perry, on The Today Show, Nov. 4, praising(?) former President Bush
Which leaves just four letters?
“If anything starts with a ‘T’ for tax or ‘F’ for fee, forget it. They’re struck from the legislative alphabet.”
—Republican consultant Bill Miller, exulting in victory
Like 52 House seats?
“We certainly shouldn’t think that we didn’t achieve all of our goals. We just didn’t achieve all of our principal, very ambitious electoral goals.”
—Consultant Matt Angle of the Texas Democratic Trust, which will close shop after five expensive years of working to elect Texas Democrats
Please, just one more pinch of salt, please?
“We are fed up with being overtaxed and overregulated. We are tired of being told how much salt we can put on our food.”
—Rick Perry, from Fed Up!
Thanks for clarifying
“This is not your normal Sunday school class. This is the Legislature.”
—Rep. Warren Chisum, R-Pampa, who’s challenging Republican state House Speaker Joe Straus.
Invented not by Ponzi, as it turns out, but by FDR
“Ponzi schemes … are fraudulent systems designed to take in a lot of money at the front and pay none in the end. This unsustainable fiscal insanity is the true legacy of Social Security and the New Deal.”
—Gov. Rick Perry, in his new book Fed Up!
Stumper of the Week
The White House can’t contain me
“Anyone running for the presidency is not going to go take on these issues with the power that I do.”