Gonzo Finally Lands a Gig
July 7th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
At long last, Alberto Gonzales has found a job. While there are some who believe he’s best suited for making license plates in a federal penitentiary, his new gig may not be much better: teaching undergrads in Lubbock, Texas.
Ever since his forced retirement back in September 2007, the former attorney general has busied himself with speaking engagements, op-eds, part-time legal help, and high-school commencement addresses.
Now, however, he seems to have found a more permanent home at the Harvard of the Panhandle. According to a Texas Tech press release, Gonzales will be a visiting professor teaching a junior-level class in “Contemporary Issues in the Executive Branch.”
No word yet on whether those “contemporary issues” will include topics such as the constitutionality of torture, proper grounds for firing U.S. attorneys and whether or not it’s appropriate to badger Cabinet secretaries recuperating from major surgery.
The release also states that Gonzales will “assist both Texas Tech University and Angelo State University with recruiting and retaining first generation and underrepresented students.”
(To find out more about where former Bush officials have ended up, you can read our Sept. 18, 2008, cover story here.)
I guess it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the school that hired Bobby Knight as its basketball coach would be willing to offer employment to another controversial public figure.
What is surprising, however, is that a lawyer whose resume includes service as a Texas Supreme Court justice, White House counsel and U.S. attorney general isn’t teaching at Texas Tech’s law school — but rather in its undergrad school of political science.
Then again, maybe that says it all.
July 9th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Gonzo has a deeply repressed secret desire that can ONLY be satisfied in the Panhandle and neighboring localities. Yes, Gonzo is:
Lusting for Pinkie’s
Lusting for leathered Pinkie’s dominating taste!
Impossible even to be whipped by another into being replaced!
Quirky perhaps?
Unthinkable short of total physical collapse!
Only Pinkie’s can so intensely fulfill!
Rushing like a disappearing Saturday night 100 dollar bill!
Surely Pinkie’s will wait for submissive me?
Told to ‘BE THERE, OR ELSE’ by 9:00 p.m. despite my servile plea!
Only in west Texas can Pinkie’s chain so completely reign!
Racing across the hot Llano Estacado like a wind driven prairie fire flame!
Epicenely slinking at 8:59 p.m. through Pinkie’s domineering door!
Slavishly inside - the town’s about to close only liquor store!
Pinkie’s Rule - at least in the ‘Tierra Nueva del Gonzo’ and, with Lady Heather
July 15th, 2009 at 12:15 am
Mr. Gonzales will lecture at Tech on his area of expertise, Fluid Mechanics of Waterboarding.
See:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/07/13/professor-gonzales/
July 22nd, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I will say it…..the only reason Gonzo got fired, in my opinion, is because he refused to hook W. up with drugs. I read somewhere that W. assumed that since Gonzo was Hispanic he automatically had an in with the Mexican Drug Cartels and could easily set him up with a large quantity of blow. Needless to say he was wrong, Gonzo refused, and therefore was immediately fired.