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06server readers ore SMART PROGRESSIVE INVOLVED INFLUENTIAL GOOD LOOKING are 06server oavertisersr Get noticed by Texas Observer folks all over the state and nation. Let them know about your bookstore, service, restaurant, non-profit organization, event, political candidate, shoe store, coffee house, boutique, salon, yoga studio, law practice, etc. TheTexasObserver ADVERTISE IN THE OBSERVER! REASONABLE RATES GREAT EXPOSURE Call 512-477-0746 and ask for Julia Austin or e-mail [email protected] Rey, 06server reaaersr Consider advertising your business or non-profit in the Observer. GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR THE OBSERVER Pis, continued from page 5 leave Iraq too soon. Biden believes America’s current security situation is bleak. The country’s current strategies, he says, won’t address what he sees as the two biggest threats: the spread of “radical fundamentalism” and the possibility of the “world’s most dangerous people” obtaining weapons of mass destruction \(Read: Strategy, may sound like an anti-STD campaign, but it’s filled with intellectual heft. He proposes a threefold approach of prevention, effective alliances, and democracy-building in the Middle East. A strategy, he says, that if done right will “expand American power.” Now where have we heard that before? Even though Biden claims to be turning the Bush Doctrine upside down, his rhetoric has a familiar, Bush-y ring to it. The “axis of evil” is still thriving, and the world is divided between “civilized nations” and “innocents.” When he coupled these catchphrases with scathing indictments of the Bush administration, the auditorium filled with silent befuddlement. And after harsh criticisms of the administration, Biden told the audience that he considers President Bush a friend. That kind of centrist rhetoric might not fly with Democratic primary voters in 2008, especially after John Kerry failed with a similar approach in 2004. But Biden’s got a few years to work out the kinks. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON? If you think gubernatorial candidate Kinky Freidman speaks his mind, you should hear the 95-year-old Democratic candidate in the 10th Congressional District. Sid Smith of Austin isn’t afraid to call former U.S. House Majority Leader Tom DeLay “an asshole.” He’s equally uninhibited when referring to the Republican incumbent in his race as “DeLay’s stooge.” Smith, whose house smells like bacon and whose white hair falls down to his collar, insists he genuinely wants to represent the district that runs from northern Austin to suburban Houston. He says he wants to remain in Congress for only one termas his campaign slogan asks, “at 95, who needs term limits?” to help correct the mistakes from the DeLay era. One clear blunder, in Smith’s mind, was DeLay’s sculpting of the 10th Congressional District during the 2003 redistricting feud, which enabled firstterm Republican Mike McCaul to win the seat. In the now-conservative district, Smith is the longest of long shots. But don’t tell him that. He says he has a real chance of beating three Democratic primary opponents and winning the general election, even if he has raised little money and his campaign strategy consists mainly of distributing stickers and planting yard signs. And whatever you do, for the love of God, don’t suggest to him that he’s too old to run for office. Try it, and he’ll tell you in colorful words to go commit a sex act on yourself that only a hermaphrodite could imagine carrying out. A true Austin liberal, Smith talks a lot about his ideas for change. He says he wants a constitutional amendment to make sure everyone has health insurance. He also wants to pull American troops out of Iraq. He’d like to offer statehood to Mexico and Canada. That would certainly solve the immigration issue. During a recent chat at his house that overlooks Lake Austin, Smith opines that he wants to spark another safe-sex campaign. “Use rubbers,” Smith says, adding that it’s a message for everyone, straight or gay. After that setup for a question about gay marriage, Smith responds, “As long as nobody hits on me, I’m for it.” For all his talkand the man certainly can pontificateSmith’s reasons for entering the race are simple. “There’s one main thing: I want to annihilate Tom DeLay’s stooge,” he says. The 95-yearold paused and quickly reconsidered his inflammatory remark. It seemed for a moment that Smith, like so many politicians in our news-saturated society, wanted to substitute his heated rhetoric with something more measured, something more in line with modern sensibilities. Scratch “annihilate,” he says. Instead, he wants to “decimate the stooge.” MARCH 10, 2006 THE TEXAS OBSERVER 17