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Bill Bridges Texas Observed By Molly Ivins Only once has Observer co-editor Molly Ivins attempted to describe the State of Texas to non-Texans. That learned her: it can’t be done. Her effort to explode some Texas myths was written in the summer of 19 72 and appeared in the now-defunct Place magazine. It is here reprinted with Place’s permission and with a few revisions. Ed. The rest of the country is in future shock and in Texas we can’t get Curtis’s Clean Crapper bill through the Legislature. Curtis Graves is a state representative from Houston who introduced a bill to provide minimum standards of cleanliness. for public restrooms in this state. It was defeated. Solons rose on the floor of the House to defend dirty johns. The delights of peein’ against the back wall after a good whiskey drank were limned in excruciating detail. In New York City, Zero Mostel gets up on a stage and prances around singing “Tradition!” while the audience wets itself with nostalgia. In America, the rate of change shifts from arithmetic to geometric progression. In Texas, where ain’t nothin’ sanitized for your protection, we still peein’ against the back wall. What this country really needs, along with a new government, is a stiff dose of Texas. Things still are the way they used to be down here, and everybody who thinks.