WTF Friday: ‘Freedom’ Is Just Another Name for Automatic Weapons

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Glenn Hegar
Glenn Hegar

While Rep. Steve “Where (and What) in the World is He?” Stockman was on his magical mystery tour, we had lots of folks working overtime to fill the WTF deficit. This was truly a week for the WTF books. Let’s get to it.

The first televised lieutenant governor’s debate alone brought us a veritable avalanche of red meat, as the four men gathered at the far right end of the political spectrum. Keep Marlise Muñoz on life support! Teach creationism in schools! Ban all abortions!

As usual, state Sen. Dan Patrick (R-Houston) found a way to best his opponents in the vainglorious rhetoric department. Asked about teaching creationism in public schools, he insulted the intelligence of the kiddos:

“Our children must really be confused. We want them to go to school on Sunday and we teach them about Jesus Christ and then they go to school on Monday—they can’t pray, they can’t learn about creationism. They must really be confused.”

“When it comes to creationism, not only should it be taught, it should be triumphed, it should be heralded.”

And after endorsing campus carry and open carry, Land Commissioner Jerry Patterson finally found a limit to his Second Amendment enthusiasm:

“The one venue that I believe maybe handguns shouldn’t be there—although it kinda enhances the quality of the service—is a bar.”

The Lady was certainly shooting from the hip again this week. On her entertaining Facebook page, State Board of Education candidate Lady Theresa Thombs opined on evolution.

“To believe in evolution is a larger fairy tale. Darwin admitted his science was a mistake. If evolution were true, why is it with the vast amount of knowledge we have acquired through science, we have not evolved into a different species?”

Also: If dolphins are so smart, then how come they’re stuck in the ocean?

And it would be an odd week if a Texas congressman didn’t say or do something crazy. And what better time to thumb a tweet than during the State of the Union.  U.S. Congressman Randy Weber is keepin’ it real in Ron Paul’s old district. Just an hour before the State of the Union, Weber warmed his Twitter followers up with some hardcore Obama-bashing, punning that would make O. Henry turn in his grave (“a line” … “A-Lying”) and some unintentionally hilarious misspellings.

Finally, state Sen. Glenn Hegar is running for comptroller—the statewide office that deals with budgets, taxes and revenue projections. But credit to Hegar for finding a way to tape himself firing a fully-automatic weapon because… Well, the name of the video is “Freedom.”

Forrest Wilder, a native of Wimberley, Texas, is associate editor of the Observer. Forrest specializes in environmental reporting and runs the “Forrest for the Trees” blog. Forrest has appeared on Democracy Now!, The Rachel Maddow Show and numerous NPR stations. His work has been mentioned by The New York Times, the Washington Post, the New Yorker, Time magazine and many other state and national publications. Other than filing voluminous open records requests, Forrest enjoys fishing, kayaking, gardening and beer-league softball. He holds a bachelor's degree in anthropology from the University of Texas at Austin.

  • SocraticGadfly

    Add: How much more is Alameel going to lie about pro-choice stuff? http://socraticgadfly.blogspot.com/2014/01/alameel-flat-out-lies-on-abortion.html

  • 1bimbo

    dolphins! that is funny. and everyone calm down. faith is not (rocket) science. to handle creationism: for local public schools, it should be treated as a humanities or world religion elective and NOT as part of the science curriculum. but i truly believe such a course belongs in college not high school. also, for charter schools to be eligible for stipends they must adhere to that guideline. also, hegar’s ad is awesome but this one is still the best ever! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKtFvCvmrFE

  • http://jonlester.tv/ Jon Lester

    Most Americans don’t have the money or the cred to get a federal license for fully-automatic weapons, and even if they did, they’d be spending a lot more to actually use them. Instead, they have to go to certain ranges and rent the time, as Hegar likely did. We have that much “freedom” in this department, but little more, and the office he’s seeking can’t change that reality.