Gone to the Dogs

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Earlier this week, the Waco Herald-Tribune — now under new management — published a column “written” by the boss’ dog.

No, I’m not making that up. Wish I were.

I’ve included the link, but I can’t, in good conscience, recommend that you click through. The piece is, ahem, howlingly bad.

A sample:

Daily, I sit in queenly fashion up in my daddy’s downtown Waco office building, greeting visitors with barks. I enjoy watching them dance about the room as I nip merrily at their shoes or attack their pants legs. That includes the postman, whom I attack as if I were a Doberman.Lately, though, I’ve gotten to know the Tribune-Herald, the hometown newspaper that my daddy purchased this summer. It’s a bustling place, full of vivid personalities and rich talents, all serving in different ways as — dare I say it? — the watchdogs of this community.That’s something a pooch like me can respect and admire.Call me crazy, but the Trib building spurs my extra-sensory qualities. There are days when I see spirits of yesteryear roaming the place. One day I saw Harlon and Clara Fentress studying the new Trib, smiling upon seeing “In God We Trust” on the masthead of what used to be their newspaper…..This much I know. If I have to wet on a newspaper nowadays, I think twice about doing it on the Trib. Daddy wouldn’t be happy.”

Obviously, this column was meant to be cute, but I find it rather depressing. The Trib is far too good a newspaper to waste precious column inches on material like this. Especially when all across the country non-canine reporters and columnists are losing their jobs.

These are dark days for newspapers. This cartoon about sums it up.

Dave Mann is a former editor of the Observer.

Published at 12:00 am CST
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