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WTF Friday: Uncle Ted’s Bogus Adventures

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Ted Nugent

We thought maybe we’d write this week about Cornyn challenger Dwayne Stovall’s TV ad attacking someone he’s not running against as a “box turtle.” (Hey, I thought Phil Gramm had rights to that name!) We thought maybe we’d call attention to the Democrat running for Harris County DA on a stop-prosecuting-domestic-violence-so-much platform.

We thought we’d write this week about David Dewhurst welcoming the spawn of Andrew Breitbart to Texas with a letter praising Breitbart Texas for “applying the time-tested techniques of investigative reporting.” (Nothing screams “investigative reporting” like putting anarchist-turned-FBI-informant-turned-tea-partier Brandon Darby in charge of your publication and running articles like “7 Amazing Reagan Quotes that Capture America’s Current Condition.”) But, really, this week belongs to one man.

Ted Nugent wasn’t born in Texas but he got here just as soon as he was tired of chasing underage girls, shitting his pants to avoid the draft (allegedly!) and establishing his intellectual bona fides with such classic rocks hits as “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang.”

With those accomplishments on his resume, naturally he became a sought-after public figure.

Although he promised in 2011 to “either be dead or in jail” if Obama was re-elected, instead Uncle Ted has put his heart and soul patch into politicking for Texas Republicans and drawing clicks for media outlets. (Here he is on “Texas Monthly Talks”; here he is trying to justify the Trayvon Martin killing to the Texas Tribune.)

He’s called Hillary Clinton a “two-bit whore” and Barack Obama a “chimpanzee,” “a piece of shit” and “a subhuman mongrel” (a term employed by Nazis and Klansmen). He’s been known to use the n-word and has basically been saying things like this for decades.
If he’s not a racist and a misogynist, then no one is… So what does it say about the politicians he pals around with?

He’s the treasurer for former state Rep. Sid Miller’s bid for agriculture commissioner. (By the way, aren’t Ted and Sid just the picture of the GOP’s outreach to women and minorities?)
Sid Miller and Ted Nugent
He and Rick Perry go hunting together and the Nuge played at Perry’s inauguration in 2007.

Congressman Steve Stockman (still sounds weird putting those three words together) can’t get enough of the guy.

And then there’s Greg Abbott, who invited Nugent to appear with him at campaign events in Wichita Falls and Denton this week. The Nuge didn’t say anything WTF-worthy on the campaign trail—though he did call Greg Abbott his “blood brother”—but his labeling of Obama as a “Chicago communist-raised, communist-educated, communist-nurtured subhuman mongrel” had even Rick Perry, Rand Paul and Ted Cruz (sort of) condemning the remarks and distancing themselves from Uncle Ted. Good rule of thumb: If those guys are uncomfortable with your rhetoric, you might have gone too far. And late update: Even Ted Nugent is uncomfortable with Ted Nugent’s remarks.

But what about Greg Abbott? Why did he invite Ted Nugent to join him onstage after the Wendy Davis campaign and the media pondered whether that was such a good idea? What did he think of Nugent’s ugly comments? Other than running away from a CNN reporter, he’s really not said much. Per the AP:

“I can’t comment on them, because I don’t know what he said.”

In a courtroom, pleading the Fifth might work. In politics, not so much.

  • channelclemente

    The best thing Ted ever did was die in that episode of Miami Vice.

  • DavidD

    The Davis campaign folks are amatuers so that explains their missteps and mistakes but you’d think Abbott’s people after holding exclusive statewide offices for twenty years would have had better sense.
    Ted Nugent’s music was mediocre at best and his criminal behavior, chickenhawk ways misogny and racism is no secret.
    With our low voter turnout Abbott can probably do nothing and win the election handsdown but instead he seems determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory..
    i’m a member of battlegroundtexas and support Davis all the way but had no illusions about her winning but surely this a’int going to hurt maybe our still slim chance of victory. .
    Texas has very little regard for politicans in general and see them as something we have to suffer like fire ants and drought.
    Most people here gave up on Electoral Democracy a long time ago because big oil and big money own the Democrats politicans just like they own the GOP so why bother.
    This fact has encouraged the GOP to slowly go out of it’s cotton picking mind with swinish greed and hubris.
    What’s next? Throwing people in jail for debt or is the legislature going to pass a resolution to bring slavery back.
    I know the Democratic party is a poor tool but it’s all I have so I’m picking it up to try to restore at least the illusion of sanity in Austin.

    • 1bimbo

      austin already votes blue. &there’s no ‘slim’ victory for abbott. the vast majority of the state is crimson red

      • DavidD

        All the urban counties except Fort Worth were majority Obama supporters in 2012 according to Texas Monthly and everyday the GOP alienates more.
        If the Texas Democratic Party can get new voters out in enough numbers then things will change.If they can’t, they won’t.

        • 1bimbo

          late-term abortion is a deal breaker

          • DavidD

            Roe vs Wade has the support of most people in this country.It states that in the last trimester the state’s intrest is paramount.In the first it is a a matter for the family to decide.In the second the intrest becomes a matter of interpetation.Most abortions occur in the first trimester.
            There has been a lot of heat generated by the so called pro life forces but very little light.
            Their clear intent is to shut down the clinics and not allow safe abortions at all.
            This is an extremist position not supported by most Texans who do not want to go back to back alley butchery because you can pass all the laws you want but women still will get abortions.

          • 1bimbo

            abortion promotion is a deal breaker too

          • not_Bridget

            So many of the clinics shut down also offered contraception, as well as general health checkups for women. But let’s think of the fetus!

          • April D. Korbel

            Exactly, not_Bridget. In their zeal to shut down clinics and make life miserable for the ones that remain, so-called pro-life folks have cut off essential medical services – screenings, checkups, contraceptive access – for the people who most desperately need it. They make sure those babies get born then leave them in the lurch when it comes to food, housing, education or any other thing a person needs to live.

  • radsenior

    Ted Nugent falls into the same category as Lynyrd Skydyrd and other hard rockers to play the Ballad of Curtis Lowe. These backwoods extremists will fly the Confederate flag, whoop and wail as they pomp and circumstance to old south beliefs. Greg Abbott stands with the likes of Ted Nugent.
    Racism has another another way to show itself. Ted Nugent is another example. Racism is still prevalent in portions of the nation and can be seen daily. Anyone who openly displays the Confederate flag is a racist. That flag represent bigotry, oppression, prejudice and slavery to black people. The confederate flag represents hatred of those who do not have white skin or look different or have a different sir-name. And At the local and state level, political name calling starts or includes, “Anti-Obama” which is code for “anti-first-black-president” anything.

  • 1bimbo

    soothing sounds of songs from president obama’s best friend jayZ

    Big Pimpin’ by JayZ:

    “You know I – thug em, f*ck em, love em, leave em

    Cause I don’t f*ckin need em.

    Take em out the hood, keep em lookin good

    But I don’t f*ckin feed em.

    — more from democrat darling JayZ:

    I’m a pimp in every sense of the word, b*tch.

    Better trust than believe em.

    In the cut where I keep em til I need a n*t, til I need to beat the guts.

    Then it’s, beep beep and I’m pickin em up.

    Let em play with the d*ck in the truck.”

    • Jed

      ah yes, point well made.

      what was it again?

      • 1bimbo

        obama’s campaign hack jayZ didn’t seem to hurt his election too much. i don’t recall an ‘outrage’ by the liberal media. don’t recall ‘outrage’ over rev. wright, bill ayers or lech clinton. texans can see the coverage hypocrisy, obama agrees with his heroes on all issues. abbott used nugent as a mouthpiece for 2nd amendment rights.

        • not_Bridget

          Ted, is that you?

          • 1bimbo

            i beg your pardon, wendy davis. you should be working on your campaign not on here trolling for looney liberals

      • not_Bridget

        Republicans are idiots?