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PLAIN FACTS ABOUT SIMPLE FUNERALS Isn’t it time we started to stress the spiritual aspects of funerals rather than the material? Many people spend more on funerals than the deceased would wish because they do not realize their options or they are afraid of “what people will think.” At Reveley Memorial Services we explain your choices, and let you know we are in agreement with your desire for simplicity. No pressure is brought upon you. Many times all arrangements can be completed at your residence. Reveley Memorial Services offers you the following possibilities: A service at the location of your choice, with or without the casket present Graveside Services in the cemetery of your choice Cremation Donation to medical science Shipping We have a selection of caskets, including a cremation receptacle, a plain pine coffin, cloth covered woods, or metals. We can travel anywhere, and serve a 100 mile radius of San Antonio at no additional fee. We believe that money lavished on funerals should be spent on your family, your church, or your favorite charity. Discuss this with your family now, while you can. Call us for pre-need planning, or any information you may need. REVELEY MEMORIAL SERVICES of San Antonio Simple Funerals 533-8141 San Antonio Austin/441-7500 Information sy. Please don’t wait around, she told me, because the senator would take her home. I was disappointed, sure, but like the Chief said the next day, in Austin affairs of state must take precedence over affairs of the heart. I walked around for awhile, listening to Charlie Pride and steering clear of DanKubiak, who was campaigning for Phil Gramm’s seat in Congress. He was shaking hands and looking, like the Chief said, as sincere and earnest as a magna cum laude mortician school Graduate. It was about that time that I ran into Harley Spoon. I had met Harley one night a few years back when Emmett Wayne Easley had an accordion gig up at Geneva Hall north of Waco. Harley and Emmett Wayne were old school buddies from Waco. and Emmett Wayne said Harley was a pulling guard like you ain’t never seen and then was a coach. He’s still a fireplug of a fellow who looks to this day like he could pop a ferocious forearm shiver. Now he works for one of the new House members. “Ain’t it something?” he said, all excited. “We got Mark White who went to Baylor, we got Jim Mattox who went to Baylor, we got Garry Mauro from Waco, we got Ann Richards from Waco, we got Lyndon Olson over in Insurance. Waco’s gonna take over state government.” He winked when he said it, like it was a joke, but just then something went dinga-ling in the recesses of my thought processes, and I remembered something Emmett Wayne had told me some time around New Year’s. He said Vera Vera is Emmett Wayne’s wife had heard some people in the lunch room out at General Tire where she works talking real secret-like about taking over Austin. While she sat there eating a pimentocheese sandwich real slow, pretending not to hear, they laid out the whole plot. That night over supper, Vera told Emmett Wayne that as best she could remember, they would first get Bob Bullock who’s from Hillsboro, thirty miles north of Waco to declare that Texas is smack-dab up against a serious tax-revenue shortfall, because of the peso devaluation or something, and that it would behoove the state to sell off all state office buildings in Austin. They said if Bullock didn’t want to do it, they’d break his scrawny neck, and he’d think twice about not going along. Then Jim Mattox, the new AG or his chief litigation man Dave Richards, who’s from you-know-where would dredge up a little-known and never-used state statute that allows the governor to shift all state agencies in times of emergency to another city. You can guess what that city would be. Mark White would then go on statewide TV to announce that moving the state offices to Waco’s spooky, deserted downtown would do two things: it would save the state money since downtown Waco rent is about as cheap as dirt, and it would wake up the town’s drowsy downtown business district. Before the end of the decade, these guys swore to each other, a new state capital would rise from the west bank of the Brazos. Emmett Wayne asked Vera who these guys were. She said she had seen them around the plant, but she didn’t know any of them personally. She said one of them has a tattoo on his right bicep that says “Sons of Brann,” and she said she heard them calling each other SOBs. Emmett Wayne said he knew enough Waco history to know that Brann probably meant William Cowper Brann, the fiery editor of a newspaper back in the 1890s I called the Iconoclast. “I suspect they mean business,” he said. The morning after the Victory Dinner, I told the Chief about the SOBs, and he said we owed it to our constituents to take the plot with all due seriousness. He said we’d put the chicken-fighting legislation \(see TO, that he was sending me underground. I’m to infiltrate the SOBs. I made it back out to Woolco just before they closed for good and for ed up a spiffy Baylor-green double-knit sport coat and mustard-colored slacks. Also I’m learning the words by heart to “That Good Old Baylor Line,” including the second verse. I’ll also be hanging out at Waco’s Lake Air Mall and probably the Westview Bowling Lanes long enough to make a Waco accent secondnature. I’ve learned from what people around here call an informed source not Harley that the SOBs meet every other Tuesday night at 11 in Waco’s Cameron Park. They gather under a giant pecan tree at the mouth of the Bosque River. You can bet I’ll be there. I swore Ea Jean to secrecy and then asked her if she wanted to go undercover with me as a Baptist Sunday-school teacher. She said she sure would like to, but that she was allergic to flannelboards. WTF Personal Service Quality Insurance ALICE ANDERSON AGENCY INSURANCE & REAL ESTATE 808A E. 46th, Austin, Texas 459-6577 22 FEBRUARY 11, 1983