A Public Service Message from the American Income Life Insurance CompanyExecutive offices, Waco, TexasBernard Rapoport, Pres. Take It EasyBut Take It! John Henry Faulk “Let’s git on with the game!” Cousin Ed allowed happily the other morning. “Got a brand new dealer in the dealer’s seat. Name of Gerald Ford. Let’s git to playing again and see what sort of cards he deals.” “You sure didn’t spend much time mourning for your friend Dick Nixon, Cousin Ed. Poor man’s down and out, and here you are whooping it up for Ford already.” “Son, Dick might be out. But Dick ain’t down,” he announced. “Dick left office like he left Vietnam with honor!” “Cousin Ed, why are you so hard headed? Dick Nixon left office in disgrace! He might not admit it. And you might not admit it. But it’s a fact.” “Tommy rot!” Cousin Ed snorted. “You heared his farewell speech! Did he sound disgraced? You heared what Ford said right after he resigned? Said Dick had made the greatest personal sacrifice a man ever made for his country! And every single big Republican in Washington along with blame near all the Democrats got up and give out with the same sentiments! And you sitting there going on ’bout disgrace!” “Maybe they just wanted to make sure he left,” I countered. “Nawsir! I maintain when a man has half the town out waving goodbye to him, while he climbs into Air Force One and goes sailing out to his million dollar estate in California that ain’t leaving in disgrace. That’s leaving in high style.” “The fact still remains, Cousin Ed, that Dick Nixon has a grim future ahead of him.” “Sure wish to God my future was that grim,” Cousin Ed nodded. “Strolling around a million dollar estate, with $60,000 a year pension guaranteed for life, a $96,000 a year expense account, and goodness knows what other privileges all for free. It’s just plumb pitiful, ain’t it?” “I’m not talking about that, Cousin Ed, and you know it! I’m talking about the cruel, hard realities that he has to live with the rest of his life.” “Like what?” “Like the fact that he is the only President in the history of this country ever to be named an unindicted co-conspirator by a grand jury; like the fact that he’s the only President ever to be run out of office charged with lying to Congress and the American people, obstruction of justice, and other crimes; like the fact that he chose a vice president who was a practicing felon, and in addition has had a couple dozen of his top aides, as well as four former cabinet members, indicted for felonies. That’s a pretty hideous record for a man to have to live with.” “Shore it is,” Cousin Ed came back. “If a man thought about it like that. But Dick don’t. Dick goes to bed in that fine big bed of his every night with the happy thought that for the rest of his life he can say, ‘I’m the only man in the history of this country who ever had the honor and privilege of personally and by myself picking out a president for the United States’!” “He might not be sleeping in that big bed always, Cousin Ed. Remember he’s Citizen Nixon now, not President Nixon. He’s not immune from prosecution any more.” “Now you are talking through your hat,” Cousin Ed said. “Why Dick Nixon knows there ain’t a chance in the world that he’ll ever come to trial.” “What makes you so sure of that?” “Something that you are plumb short on,” Cousin Ed declared. “Common sense! You had any common sense, you’d know that by the time they git through trying all those aides and former associates of Dick’s, they’ll use up every potential juror in the country. Won’t be 12 people left to pick for a jury. ‘Course that ain’t the only reason.” “That a fool reason, Cousin Ed. What are the other reasons you think he won’t get tried?” “Well, there’s fact that Dick’s friends won’t allow it. He’s still a hero to the Law and Order folks.” “But he has publicly admitted that he lied!” I protested. “And the Judiciary Committee has documented his crimes!” “Right there’s one of the peculiarities of America, son. Them double standard folks! Ones that barked the loudest ’bout Law and Order and lack of morals in America is the exact same crowd that will be howling the loudest for leniency for Dick. That’s why I say Dick ain’t down, he’s just out.” “And so you think that’s the reason Nixon won’t have to face any criminal charges?” “No! The main reason he won’t is that the boys in Washington want to git the game started again. They’ve got Ford in the dealer’s chair, they’re ready to get to playing their game. Ain’t got time to bother with Dick no more. He’s out.” “Not so fast, Cousin Ed. It was not just the dealer that was messing up the same, as you call it. Some of the rules they’ve been using were out of kilter, too. A lot of thoughtful people want some of those slippery rules changed.” He looked at me and shook his head. “Son,” he said solemnly, “out there in Nevada when the boys that run them big casinos find out that one of their dealers has been caught cheating, they run him off and git a new dealer. But they don’t change the rules of their game. Oh no! Not when they’ve been winning with them rules! Might talk like they’re going to give the public a better break. But they don’t. If you think them power boys in Washington plays different, you’re crazy. They’ve changed dealers. The Game’s the same.”
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