Page 20


FUTURA PRESS INC. Phone 512/442-7836 1714 SOUTH CONGRESS P.O. BOX 3485 Ali7JNTEXAS Meeting facilities for 15 to 450 persons. 4 separate meeting rooms plus mezzanine Plantation Room, above. 400 air-conditioned rooms and suites. Coffee Shop. Dining Room. THE TEXAS STATE HOTEL 720 FANNIN AT RUSK Write or call for details E.C. Preston, Gen. Mgr. LIDA PRESS I 504 West 24th Multi copy service. Call 477-8351 ‘ carefully folded his hands on his stomach. He looks a lot like Burl Ives. “Ahaa,” he said. “Why I designed my apartments with balconies? I tell you. I don’t know.” But Mrs. Helene Harder does know. A few years ago, Mrs. Harder joined with her sister and daughter to form the real estate firm of Harder, Harder and Moore. They have been doing very well. Mrs. Harder knows a lot about real estate and she knows a lot about balconies. “They sell,” she told me. “They really sell. Nothing sells like balconies. Why, just the other day a friend of mine who owns a small hi-rise asked me to help him rent his vacants. You know what I told him? ‘Balconies sell, sell, sell.’ They really do sell.” We were sitting in Mrs. Harder’s office, on the first floor of a Georgetown townhouse. There was just enough room for the two of us, one desk and two chairs. There were two little signs on the wall facing the desk. One said: “What we don’t sell today we may never sell tomorrow.” The other said “THIMK.” I asked Mrs. Harder if she didn’t feel a little guilty renting apartments with balconies for twenty dollars extra when people never use them. For the first time, she became flustered and turned me over to her daughter for the rest of the interview. Eileen Harder has blond hair, very long, and blue eyes, very deep. I asked her the same question that had flustered her mother. “I used to feel the same way,” she said. “But then I started thinking that balconies are about as useful as any other thing people lust for. So I decided not to worry about it.” I asked Eileen Harder if she happened to own a Ben Barnes campaign poster. “What’s a Ben Barnes?” she asked me. I smiled and invited her out for a drink or something. She accepted. El From the deposition of William Stanford Heatly, ‘ perennial chairman of the House Appropriations committee: Q: What is your occupation, Mr. Heatly? Heatly: I am in the general practice of law. I also own an abstract plant. I have farm and ranch land on which I raise cattle. I also am in the swine business, that is to say, I own about 55 brood sows. An Uncle Sam for Abilene Abilene Lois Dunlap used to be a banker. Now he wants to be Uncle Sam. Not for the whole country, mind you, but at least for Abilene. If he can only incorporate himself, pick a winner of a contest to name Himself, Inc., and get a little financial support \($12,900 per civic organization meetings and schools, whipping up a little old-time Americanism and patriotic fervor. Dunlap already has a donated office \(blue-walled, white-ceilinged, and the Jaycees, and two scripts, one for high school students and one for adults. And he has experience: since last October he has been a part-time Uncle Sam. On one spechifying trip to an elementary school, Lois asked the students if any of them would like to be President some day. Several said yes; when one was asked why he wanted to take the job, he responded, “So I can end the war in Vietnam.” The boy’s part-time Uncle then explained “our” position on the war. Spirals It’s fiendish when you dream You’re right in the bed you’re in, And a bodiless something breathes Hot in your face and gently Presses the mattress around you; Or the room begins to quiver With a nasal whine and you’ve A moment of dizziness, then Nausea as walls light up, Disintegrate and hurl You back to the bed you’re in. If the bombs finally come Or we smother in our sleep, How are we to know It wasn’t a dream? Aspen, Colo. October 8, 1971 Family Feed Store organically grown grains vegetables and beans macrobiotic cooking & lessons 118 Fry Denton, Texas MARTIN EI,FANT Sun Life of Canada 1001 Century Building Houston, Texas CA 4-0686 BUMPERSTRIPS: 4 for 50c, 15 for $1, 100 for $3, 500 for $14, 1,000 for $25. Send check and Zip Code; we pay postage and tax. BRUCE BERGER L 11 BEET in downtown HOUSTON I have been engaged in the cable TV business recently. Very recently sold out. And I still have a little hangover from the oil industry … I am a director of the First National Bank of Paducah and I am president of the Ennis Motor Co. The only assets it has are those hogs I referred to a while ago.