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The Last Family Personally, I think it’s disgraceful, if not downright mean. I’m speaking, of course, of all these records and games poking fun at our president. First it was “The First Family Record.” Then it was “The KennedysThe Game of Intra-Family Power Struggle.” With a picture on the cover of all the Kennedys carved into Mt. Rushmore. Which is a large mountain. And now it’s “New Frontier-Ola,” a Monopoly-like game which says it gives you “more money for your money than any other game its size.” The idea being the first player to divest himself of all his holdings wins. Which is a very unkind plot. So with everybody buying all these records and games needling our presi-. dent and his family it’s obvious some 12 The Texas Observer body’s feelings are going to get hurt. You ask whose? Our vice president’s, that’s whose. Think how he must feel. Left out, that’s how. You know how sensitive he is to being left out. And if there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s hurt feelings. But a group of us old-time fans of his have been doing our best. for him. It’s the least we can do. First, we hired a mimic in hopes of cutting a best-selling album called, “The Forgotten Family.” But that didn’t pan out because nobody could remember what his voice sounded like. But now we think we’ve got the whole thing licked. We’ve named a game after him. It consists of a pinetarred board, 15 all-white tokens, and one black token. This is called “Token Integration.” Each player draws $10 million in “Oil Money” \(which, dollar for dollar, will buy as many people as token on the square labeled “Texas” and roll each other to see who goes first. After everybody gets rolled, the player who emerges with the most Oil Money goes to “Congress.” This is called “Texas Politics.” Thereafter, it’s all beer and skittles. And the fun lies in drawing cards from the “Take a Card Pile.” Like: “Take a free ride in the 1960 campaign.” Or : “You have just received ten million ballpoint pens. Go make a good will tour of Outer Mongolia.” These are the good cards. To be avoided at all costs, of course, is the dread, black-bordered card which says: “Go to the Vice Presidency. Go directly to the Vice Presidency. Do not pass Go. Probably ever again.” Once in the Vice Presidency you must sit for two terms with nothing to read but the rosy reports of Dr. Janet Travell. Which are pretty gloomy reading. If you’re in the Vice Presidency. So, if you feel as sorry as we for our poor, left out vice president, take part in our campaign. Tell jokes about him in the locker room. Ridicule him at the breakfast table. Remember the old adage: “A vice president doesn’t care what you say about him because hardly anyone ever does.” And have faith. By Christmas we hope to have one of our new games in every American home, spelling out his name so it will once again be a household word. Yes sir, the title’s right on the cover in big letters: “All the Way with L. B. Whatshisname!” ARTHUR HOPPE in The San Francisco Chronicle SUBSCRIBE OR RENEW THE TEXAS OBSERVER 504 West 24th Street Austin 5, Texas Enclosed is $5.10 \(or if the subscriber lives outside of Texas, tion to the Observer for: Name Address City, State 11 This is a renewal. [11 This is a new subscription. AMERICAN INCOME LIFE INSURANCE COMPANY OF INDIANA Underwriters of the American Income Labor Disability Policy Executive Offices: P. 0. Box 208 Waco, Texas Bernard Rapoport, President