WTF Friday: Louie’s Law, Libtards and the Lady

Louie Gohmert
Louie Gohmert

Another week, another batch of WTF.

Perhaps you’ve heard of Godwin’s law: the proposition, generally speaking, that if an online argument runs on long enough, someone will inevitably make a comparison to Hitler or the Nazis.

In the spirit of Godwin, I propose Louie’s law: Given enough time—say, five minutes—Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Deep, Deeper, Deepest East Texas) will inevitably say something head-scratchingly ignorant about gay folks. He just can’t help it.

This week, Uncle Louie recommends sex ed for jurists; the Lady rears her head again; and we meet the new Secretary of State’s husband.

Ladies first. Last week we introduced you to Lady (she’s knighted; I have a star named after me) Theresa Thombs, who’s running for the State Board of Education on a You-May-Have-Come-From-a-Monkey-But-I-Sure-Didn’t platform. The Lady is back this week, thanks to her ongoing obsession with Satan and some sweet illustration skillz. In a first for WTFF, we will not quote so much as show. Behold, the Lady’s latest campaign missive, via Facebook:

Lady Theresa Thombs takes on the devil. Again.
via Facebook
Lady Theresa Thombs takes on the devil. Again.

The Lady’s all Thombs.

We leave the Lady to meet a real Gentleman. In December, Rick Perry helped swear in his new secretary of state, Nandita Berry. Usually the appointment of a new secretary of state—quick, name the previous Texas SOS—is a mundane affair. But Berry isn’t just a corporate attorney or the first Indian-American to serve in that office. She’s also married to B-list right-wing radio host Michael Berry, who specializes in both gay-bashing and gay-bar-attending and has patriotically called for mosques to be blown up. Anyway, he was asked by a Houston blogger if he’d need to tone it down now that his wife was in a position of authority.

He responded thusly:

 “She’s the Secretary of State, I’m the Czar of Talk Radio. Only angry libtard supposed feminists would ever blame her for what someone else says.”

It’s funny, we assume, because it’s “liberal” plus “retard.”

Finally, that brings us at long last to Uncle Louie. Asked what he thought about federal judges striking down bans on same-sex marriage, Louie’s mind immediately leapt to the mechanics of gay sex.

“They need some basic plumbing lessons.”

I feel bad for this small business-owner in San Diego.

Forrest Wilder, a native of Wimberley, Texas, is the editor of the Observer.

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Published at 11:18 am CST