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WTF Friday, Inaugural Edition: Beautiful Women on Tall Stools

by Published on
Sen. Dan Patrick
Patrick Michels
Sen. Dan Patrick delivers a passionate speech in favor of House Bill 2.

In Texas, we are blessed with wide open spaces, great food, friendly people and some of the craziest politicians to ever fall off the turnip truck. Laugh or cry, these guys and gals—especially our excitable tea party friends—say some pretty funny, weird and disturbing things, just about every day. Sometimes they’re speaking on the floor of the Legislature or Congress; sometimes they’re talking to a reporter; sometimes they’re caught on a “hot” mic or recorded by one of their staff or on a cop car camera.

Sometimes the remark is a classic “gaffe”; other times, they might just be speaking from the heart, God bless ‘em. Every Friday we will round up some of our favorite doozies, curveballs, gaffes, head scratchers, political glossolalia and goofball statements. Our only criteria is that the quote provokes a “WTF” reaction. TGI…WTF?

1) “What is the Fox formula? Beautiful women who wear skirts not behind a desk. I mean really…you know? They cross their legs very tightly and sit on a tall stool. That’s part of the presentation. And, uh, very conservative opinion makers and good guests. You know? That’s its 1, 2, 3. That’s how Roger Ailes built his empire.”
—State Sen. Dan Patrick (R-Houston) speaking on his talk radio show this week

2) U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tyler) today, at the annual Value Voters Summit, referred to Sen. John McCain as “a guy who’s been to Syria and supported al-Qaeda and rebels.”

3) “That’s one of the reasons Japan didn’t attack us with ground forces, is because they saw all the guns here. And Chairman Mao, they asked him once, ‘how do you control the people?’ And he said, ‘take away all their guns.'”
—Jollyville chiropractor Mike VanDeWalle, Republican candidate in the House District 50 special election

Forrest Wilder, a native of Wimberley, Texas, is associate editor of the Observer. Forrest specializes in environmental reporting and runs the “Forrest for the Trees” blog. Forrest has appeared on Democracy Now!, The Rachel Maddow Show and numerous NPR stations. His work has been mentioned by The New York Times, the Washington Post, the New Yorker, Time magazine and many other state and national publications. Other than filing voluminous open records requests, Forrest enjoys fishing, kayaking, gardening and beer-league softball. He holds a bachelor's degree in anthropology from the University of Texas at Austin.

  • CaptPainter

    That’s just so darn scary.

  • Rogelio Martinez

    love it.

  • newsmom4968

    every time i read or hear one of these astoundingly goofy remarks i think of molly ivins and her quote; “if they put his brain in a bee the bee would fly backwards.” and there you have it. 1-2-3.