Stumper of the Week: Pretty Perry, Petty Perry

Every Friday from here till the end of this year’s campaign stumping season, we’re honoring the most outlandish, befuddling, illogical or just flat-out nutty statements of the week in Texas politics. (Talk about some fierce competition!)

As befitted the first official week of major-league campaign season, this one yielded a plethora of perplexing verbiage. So let’s get right to this week’s Honorable Mention Stumpers:

Blessed are the blessers, for they are blessed

“We always ask God, in prayer and song, to bless America. But I conclude with this question: How long will God continue to bless America if America doesn’t bless God?”

—State Rep. Leo Berman, R-Tyler, speaking at the Sept. 4 Nullify Now! Conference in Fort Worth, put on by the Tenth Amendment Center

Could you give us a hint?

“I’ve got something that they don’t have, and what I’ve got they cannot grow a set of.”

—Kathie Glass, Libertarian candidate for governor, addressing the Nullify Now! conference in Fort Worth. Glass had been criticizing her opponents, Bill White and Rick Perry, for their refusal to sufficiently oppose the federal government’s encroachments.

Macrowave

“This is a macroelection. There’s a wave out there. It’s whether you can ride the surfboard or not. This is not going to be focused on the microissues that in the past have been the mainstay of midterm elections. And in Texas, the intensity is just magnified.”

—David Carney, Rick Perry campaign guru, spinning The Dallas Morning News. Also this week, a Public Policy Polling survey found that there was no “enthusiasm gap” between Republicans and Democrats in Texas.

Hey—who you calling pretty?

“… the dumbest and prettiest governor in America.”

—Democratic strategist Paul Begala on Gov. Perry. Begala used the competitiveness of the White-Perry race to argue at a Democratic Governors Association forum that 2010 will not be a repeat of 1994.

But where are the Shriners?

“I think parades are great.”

—Bill White, Democratic candidate for governor, explaining why he’s marching in the Sept. 19 Gay Pride parade in Dallas.

STUMPER OF THE WEEK

Bizarre is as bizarre does

“I think that’s a bizarre request that may have a little political tinge to it.”

—Gov. Perry, dismissing Sen. Kirk Watson’s request for a new revenue estimate to help legislators get ready for the state’s estimated $18 billion budget deficit. “A private business of any size should never fly into a fiscal storm blindly,” Watson replied, “and neither should Texans or their elected officials.”

STUMP US! Send your favorite campaign stumpers of the week to [email protected].