Sarah Palin’s Other New Book

by Published on

Sometimes you come to work in the morning to find a little slice of heaven waiting in your inbox. Today it was an email announcing Sarah Palin’s guest appearance in a new right-wing children’s book, Help! Mom! Radicals Are Ruining My Country!

It’s written by Katharine DeBrecht, who’s published a series of similar books, including Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!; Help! Mom! Hollywood’s In My Hamper; and my personal favorite, Help! Mom! The 9th Circuit Nabbed the Nativity!

DeBrecht, who seems to have a rare fascination with exclamation points, is a freelance writer intent on showing kids the evils of left-wing politics.

Here’s the plot of the new book, according to the official Web site: “Follow Tommy and Lou as they struggle to keep their swing set business afloat despite 246 czars, onerous regulations and sky-high taxes in these troubling times.  Will Tommy and Lou finally decide to join the other kids on the corner in standing up for freedom or will they continue to fear being vilified by the press and demeaned by Marxus Obundus (‘the One’)?”

I haven’t read the book. But if it stays true to reality, Tommy and Lou will figure out that they should respond to over-regulation and high taxes by moving their swing-set factory to Malaysia, outsourcing their back-office functions to Bangalore, and donating heavily to Republican candidates.

According to the book’s press materials, Tommy and Lou encounter a “Governor Sarah” character who looks suspiciously like a certain former governor of Alaska.

Governor Sarah tells the kids: “I am trying to let all Americans know that these radicals are killing the American Dream and I want to stop them from hurting people that produce products and provide jobs.”

Then, DeBrecht writes:

“Unfortunately later that night, while the boys were still ruffling through their bills, they saw a special report on TV. The TV anchorwoman beamed ‘We have breaking news just in from a 37 year old man who lives in his parents’ basement that Governor Sarah’s mother is actually an alien.’ The anchorwoman excitedly went on, ‘And from this exclusive source, we can confirm that Governor Sarah feeds her children dog food for breakfast, lunch and dinner.’

‘I was always taught not to spread mean rumors about people,’ Lou looked at Tommy.

‘I know,’ Tommy frowned at this brother. ‘She seems like a nice lady. I wonder if any of the kids at school are now going to think it is okay to spread untrue gossip about people.’

Like I said, it made my morning.

Dave Mann has been with the Observer since 2003. Before that, he worked as a reporter in Fort Worth and Washington, D.C. He was born and raised in Philadelphia. He thinks border collies are the world’s greatest dogs, and believes in the nourishing powers of pickup basketball.