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Abbott Invites Heat-Packing New Yorkers to Texas with Non-Satirical Web Ad

by Published on
An ad sponsored by Greg Abbot

As the national debate over gun control rages, Texas’s leaders have identified that against which we must all be most vigilant:

An excess of… whimsy.

Yesterday, New York state passed the nation’s most stringent gun-control law. The next blessed day, Texas’s Attorney General, Greg Abbott, had an online ad appearing on New York websites telling law-abiding, gun-totin’ Yankees to come enjoy the “lower taxes and greater opportunity” enjoyed by the Lone Star State.

“We’ll fight like hell to protect your rights,” it actually says, not as a joke. “You’ll also get to keep more of what you earn and use some of that extra money to buy more ammo.”

Eric Bearse, a spokesperson for Abbott, told the Daily Beast that they placed the ad because in Texas, the Constitution is held “sacred” and protects Americans from “whimsical and knee-jerk reactions by political leaders.”

In related news, several writers for late-night talk shows simultaneously punched the air with gratitude. (Not really, but probably.)

Emily DePrang joined The Texas Observer in 2011 as a staff writer covering criminal justice and public health. Before that, she was nonfiction editor of the Sonora Review. Before that, she was a waitress. She's also appeared in The Atlantic, Salon.com, and VICE. She holds an MFA in Nonfiction from the University of Arizona and has won some things, including the Public Service Award from the Society of Professional Journalists (2012), the National Health Journalism Fellowship from USC Annenberg (2013), and a nomination for a National Magazine Award in Reporting (2014). She still sometimes thinks about waitressing.