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Abbott Invites Heat-Packing New Yorkers to Texas with Non-Satirical Web Ad

by Published on
An ad sponsored by Greg Abbot

As the national debate over gun control rages, Texas’s leaders have identified that against which we must all be most vigilant:

An excess of… whimsy.

Yesterday, New York state passed the nation’s most stringent gun-control law. The next blessed day, Texas’s Attorney General, Greg Abbott, had an online ad appearing on New York websites telling law-abiding, gun-totin’ Yankees to come enjoy the “lower taxes and greater opportunity” enjoyed by the Lone Star State.

“We’ll fight like hell to protect your rights,” it actually says, not as a joke. “You’ll also get to keep more of what you earn and use some of that extra money to buy more ammo.”

Eric Bearse, a spokesperson for Abbott, told the Daily Beast that they placed the ad because in Texas, the Constitution is held “sacred” and protects Americans from “whimsical and knee-jerk reactions by political leaders.”

In related news, several writers for late-night talk shows simultaneously punched the air with gratitude. (Not really, but probably.)

Emily DePrang is a staff writer at The Texas Observer where she covers criminal justice and public health. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic and, and she’s a former nonfiction editor of the Sonora Review. She’s holds an MFA in Creative Nonfiction from the University of Arizona and a B.A. from the University of Texas at Austin. In 2013, she was a National Health Journalism Fellow; in 2012 she won the Sigma Delta Chi award for public service in magazine journalism.